This is Kevin Hammond's Blog.

Love is finding someone who shares your delusion. 

You were the only girl I could I see a future with.

Maybe when we figure ourselves out.

You restored my faith in Love

Very few things feel real anymore lately.

The people I thought cared about me turned out to be jealous and selfish pieces of shit. Not genuinely happy for me but hopelessly selfish. I get a great job to better myself and help me move along in life. A decent paying job that is good for me, and I see people’s motives clear as day all of a sudden.

People I thought were really close to me I couldn’t help but feel like they were more concerned with what it meant for them rather than what it meant for me. Pathetic really. Just blaring your insecurities like a little child.

I spend so much time in my life being selfless and really giving my all to others. Ill continue to do so. I’m disheartened to find that most people don’t give a shit. You give them something and they just demand more. 

I am becoming discouraged in life.

I find comfort in the real things.

Who is real??

Starting the morning with a workout and hopefully a more optimistic outlook. haha

If you are looking for romance with me don’t be disappointed when you find something real instead.

Explore

Finished up some Christmas shopping this afternoon and got all hyped up on coffee. The Starbucks Caramel Brulee Latte is comparable to crack. Now I’ve never had crack but I think it is a safe assumption that this Starbucks concoction is on par with the level of pleasure and enlightenment that one would gain through cracks consumption. Anyway(s) I had some thoughts on the way home.

I made a Christmas list for my parents at the age of 25 (they asked me for it!). I can’t tell you the last time I made a Christmas list but I had a blast reflecting on all the things that I liked and wanted. Now I always have this issue trying to figure out what I want and I finally fucking figured out why. 

I LIKE EVERYTHING.

Seriously, I’m interested in absolutely everything. There is not a single subject in existence that I do not find fascinating to some degree. Give me an object, an idea or even just a sound and I could tell you something fascinating about said concept and it’s place in the Universe. THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. Everything serves a purpose.

Narrowing it down just a little bit now I love to read books on everything from political science, astrophysics, anarctice exploration, WWII rescue missions, lawsuit thrillers (Grisham), redefining God, etc. Now to be fair I would never be caught reading a damn book about quilting. Fuck that. I also love playing a large variety of games. RPGS, sports, RTS, FPS, puzzles and on and on and on. Same thing with movies. Same thing with music. This shit goes on forever I tell you…

I continued reflecting on the fact that I can’t just settle on one thing and stick with it. “So it is with Art” I tell myself. Why should I just settle on just one medium of art when EVERYTHING is art. I can play guitar, bass, drums, piano, and to be fair this little son-of-a-bitch, the recorder. I can play the **** out of some hot cross buns. Suck on that 1st grader Scott Brown who pulled my pants down in front of the class, I could play that shit better than you. I bet your pumping gas for a living. Or youre dead. I hope youre not dead, thats a little too far…

Anyway point being to all of this I can appreciate everything as a piece of art, as long as it is honest. I don’t respect the non-truth. And there is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much non-truth out there ladies and gentleman. I swear to God there is so much bullshit in this world that I can’t walk out the front door without a gasmask and pooper scooper to go about my business. And thats just to get the mail. Heaven forbid I need to go to the grocery store. I practically need to have an air reserve and weeks worth of ammo to blast my way through all the bullshit prohibiting from getting that 2lb of Twizzlers I need so bad to get me through this evenings gaming session. 

Im getting off point. I equate Art with exploration. It is why a real bands sound will change so much over time. They are constantly exploring themselves as musicians and figuring out what it is they hold to be true and care to express. Witnessing the evolution of band can be bittersweet sometimes because we liken certain bands to eras in our life. When a band changes we mourn a bit because in this realize that we too have changed as well even if we don’t understand who we have become. We ourselves become the unknown. And this is where I find life to be endlessly entertaining.

We are constantly existing in a state of the unknown. Think about how many times you have been proven wrong about a person, an idea, etc. Youre like, “WTF? Was I just making shit up the whole time?” And the you get pissed off and are like “Well, no it’s not possible for me to be wrong. THEYRE wrong.” And then you fight and maybe you kill someone and remove their reality from the world so that you can constantly entertain yours. If so, you’re a criminal and Im notifying the authorities. Point being everyone is just making up there own shit. In other words, everyone is playing their own song. And if there is one thing I have learned from playing music the past almost 10 years (im getting old), it’s that I always appreciate the opportunity to play music with new people. I’ve attempted to carry this mindset over into my everyday interactions with random people. Everyone is just playing their song (or note if you wanna break down this analogy even further). Now the biggest problem I see with people again relates to exploring the unknown. You meet people who get stuck playing only one fucking note over and over and over and over again and preach to others that their note is wrong. It’s like if you went to a show and the guitarist only play an A chord the entire show regardless of the song the rest of the band was playing and what key they were in. It’s this stubborness to not accept the possibility that there is literally an infinite amount of notes out there in the world and an unwillingness to explore new notes and potentially new songs.

Again forgive the extensive and probably trite analogy but the point is important. If we give up the desire to explore the unknown and are content to just playing the same notes over and over again, well shit the song is gonna get boring and eventually the possibility of a beautiful harmony will be squashed by your unwillingness to explore different notes.

Don’t fear the unknown, explore it.

Happy Holidays everyone. Keep playing and exploring!

Kevin